My Sweet Cheeba

My sweet fuzzy, my little mama's boy is gone. I took him to the vet yesterday to see if there was anything we could do. The vet and I spoke at length about our options, and we determined that there was nothing we could do to improve the quality of his life. Any treatment we chose would simply extend his life in his current condition, and I didn't want that. He was obviously uncomfortable on Sunday and from Sunday night into Monday morning - trouble breathing, in pain, having trouble finding a good position to lay in. It just about broke my heart to see him like that.

So I made one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and told the vet to help him cross. She left the room and gave me time to say goodbye to him. I told him how much I loved him, how he was always my favorite, how he would soon be free. I told him all the things I thought I would have more time to say. And I told him that he would soon be with Mojo and Sophie, and how he would be young, strong and healthy again. When she came back, she gave him a shot and left again, and I talked to him as he crossed, again telling him how much I loved him and how no ferret would ever be to me what he was. It was quick and peaceful and dignified. He slowly drifted away and then he was gone. My special little guy was gone, his body limp in my arms. I kissed him, cried, held him to me, smelled his familiar scent for the last time. And then I let him go. I didn't think I would be able to. It took all my strength to give him to them and leave the room. I always hated to leave him behind.

God, it hurts so much. I didn't know it could be this bad. Cheeba was my first ferret, and my life for the past few months has completely revolved around him (more than it usually did). We were together almost every moment I was home. There's such a huge hole in my life, in my home, in my heart. I look at the other ferrets, and my heart breaks all over again. I love them both very much, but Cheeba, he was everything to me. I've had him since he was a tiny 8 week old kit, since summer of 2001. I knew he wasn't immortal, but I wasn't prepared.

Goodbye Cheeba, my angel, my sweet cuddly fuzzy, my first. You are so missed and so loved. Things will never be the same again without you here to share them.

Shine on, Cheeba.
April 2001 - January 15, 2007

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ferret, ferrets